The Great Booger War Blog

There are a great many things your mom never told you. Like how you will never win the toilet seat battle regardless which side you're on or how in high quantities nutmeg can have some seriously bad side affects... And regardless of how much advice she's given you over the years there's bound to be plenty of times where you think to yourself "why wasn't I warned?". And so it was for me when the great booger war began.
Like any major battle in history it began with a conflict. My 3 month old son had a booger and I, his mom wanted it GONE! Now normally I consider boogers relitively harmless and though I'd noticed this particular booger for some time I decided to not fuss too much. I'd simply use the green sucker bulb I got from the hospital and get what I could out. That was until it began interferring with my sons breathing. So upon further inspection I found his left nostril had become clogged by a hard crunchy booger. Stinking bulb can't pull that crap out! My poor munchkin could not suck on his passy (or as my husband calls it his plug plug) because he needed his mouth to breath. This wretched thing had to go! But wait. Nobody had ever mentioned what to do about a giant booger...
Ok. Yes, I am a new mom. But in my defense I've worked with hundreds of kids. I started off babysitting at 12. Worked my way up to nannying through college and even extended my experience to special needs kids. I've worked in classrooms k-8. And so my experience covers the broad range of kids 6 months of age to 14 years all over a span of some 12 years.
Crap. Did I just give away my age!? No matter.
The point is I'd never dealt with boogers. Poop: check. Pee: check. Vomitting: check. Potty training, teething, bathing: check, check, check. But this!? No.
Well in my college experience I learned one very valuable resource. Books? Not a chance. The Internet! And so I turned to my good friend, Google and asked for some help. And do you know what I discovered? I am not the only one with this problem! Women everywhere struggle daily with their kids boogers. Where is the CNN coverage? The doctor Oz special? The idiots guide to boogers book? My only guess is that we are not meant to discuss this in public. Why else wasn't I warned?
My good dear friend, Google, offered many suggestions. One woman wrote she uses her finger. Uh, my finger is 10 times larger than his nostril so no good. Another suggested a Q-tip. The thought made me cringe. Too many possibilities for something to go wrong. AND wouldn't it push the booger further up? And another poor desperate mother wrote that she sucks the boogers out with her mouth! That's right her mouth. No. Enough said.
I was on verge of starting my phone tree of advice when I came across the most logical advice yet. A woman, a doctor mom no less, wrote that she mixes 1 cup warm water with 1/4 tsp salt. Puts a few drops in the nostril and then uses the suction bulb to get the booger out. The salt water loosens the booger for easy removal.
I was a bit nervous but I tried this method and succes! The booger came right out. Austin was annoyed at the process but it was pain free. And now he can breath easy again (bad pun I know).
Me: 1 Booger: 0
So why hadnt my mom ever warned me of this? Could it be she hadn't experienced it? I doubt it. More likely it became trivial as the years passed and her life was filled with bigger battles and even bigger joys. And maybe it's a good thing I wasn't warned. Maybe that's the job of a good mom. To prepare you the best she can and give you the tools to figure things out when you don't know the answer. I guess that's what I'd want for my kiddo.
So thanks mom I love you!
Oh and thank you my good friend Google.

P.S. If anyone knows the mom who is sucking boogers out with her mouth clue her in on the salt water

~Razzy