My Mind is all Blogged Up

I think yesturdays blog opened a flood gate of thoughts to write. Sometimes my mind just seems so full of thoughts I can hardly focus on any one thing. And then I end up rambling and jumping from topic to topic. Anyone else have this problem? I'm not sure there's an exact topic for today and perhaps two days in a row is a bit much but I'm hoping we'll get it all out tonight.
First off I have a few questions.
1) Why is it that standing in front of a room of children seems like no big deal but in front of adults I panic. Before my friends wedding I had countless nights laying awake wondering what I'd say IF I had to give a speach. And then the moment came. As I walked up and took the microphone I KNEW I had to admit my fear and told everyone I was now imagining them all as middle schoolers... I got a laugh. This was a great set up because by the end I was nearly in tears and shaking immensely. If they'd been actual middle schoolers I'd have been set. I could have went in with no plan and done just fine. Am I crazy?
2) Where the heck do all the pacifiers and socks go in my house? Ok I do have a problem misplacing things BUT these items disapear never to return again... And we can't even blame the baby yet!
3) Why are women so brutal o each other? Last night I caught myself telling my husband how much I dislike Katie couric. When he asked why I had a very feeble reason. And this got me thinking... Am I too critical of other women? Am I judgemental? We must work on this...
4) Why does boo, my baby boy, stay up until 1 am no problem? And this means he sleeps until 10. Sometimes I know other moms are judging me and this schedule makes me nervous. But the more I fight it the more grouchy he is. I guess I need to ask why do I care what anyone thinks? Maybe those dreams about someone taking Boo away worsened my anxiety? Must work on this too...
5) Where did my self confidence go? Before I met my husband I hated myslef... Or at least the way I looked and a few other things... And then he sparked a self confidence and self body image I'd never had before. Even while I was pregnant I liked how I looked. But now? It's like everything just fell to the wrong place after having my son. Somedays I don't have time for makeup and hair. Or at least I don't care. And then I glimpse myself in the mirror and want to scream. I KNOW I'm not the only one. We should start a support group like AA but for us recovering low body image addicts. Any takers? *sigh* must work on this too!
Ok so that's the big questions on my mind... Meaningful? No. Insightful? Doubtful. Critical to my daily life OR anyone elses lives? Highly unlikely. But that's real life isn't it?
So tomorrow I'm meeting with my newly married friend (the determined one) and the one who will do anything for you. It'll be bitter sweet because the newly married friend will be leaving again and we may not see eachother for a LONG time! And then thursday I'll be seeing a long lost friend. How fun! I'm also looking forward to new years with my family. And I can't wait for a fun night with the hubby :)
Alright I KNOW it's nearly impossible to see how we got jumped from topic to topic but it made sense to me. And seeing as I have very few readers I'm not too concerened. Hopefully my next blog will be better thought out. For now I'm off to bed!
~

My First Blog

Well it's midnight and the boys are sleeping. By boys I mean my husband and 3 month old son. The house is quiet. Quiet? That's a rare thing these days. At 24 I feel completely comfortable with my life until that is I strike up a conversation with an old friend or perfect stranger for that matter. The dialog usually goes something like this:
Them: Are you teaching?
Me: No, I'm staying home with my baby.
Them: I thought you got your degree?
Haha... Thanks. Why is being a stay at home mom seen as less important than a career? I have my whole life to teach, to work. Not to knock the working mom but shouldn't this be my choice? Anyways I love being at home with my little one but some days I kind of miss my fast pace life of going to school and working. I miss learning and chatting it up with adults. That's why I'm doing this blog. Not so much to find readers but to reach out. To write again and take a few moments each week for some adult dialog. And so for anyone who reads this you will take a walk in the day of me, Razzy. I'll try to be honest and share my adventures or misadventures as the case may be as well as any new insights on the world.
My topic of interest today is about friendship.
My greatest friend is my husband. I really think marriage should be based in that. Beyond him I have a tight circle of close friends including my sisters. Each one is so unique and has changed my life by being a part of it. I have the strong stubborn friend who takes on the world, the thinker and free spirit, the one with a kind if not flaky spirit, the passionate fiery one, the one who would do anything for you, the wise listener, and the rock.
This weekend I watched my good friend of 11 years get married. Where have the days of plaing MASH gone? She was beautiful and looked so happy. My heart felt full of joy. And today I learned my other friend of 16 years is pregnant! Oh how my heart ached to be there to hug her and congratulate her. I guess we've all grown up... And I'm so blessed to be a part of their lives still.
So tonight as I get myself ready for bed I am filled with peace, excitement, and love for my friends.
Goodnight readers if you are out there :)
~Razzy