I think yesturdays blog opened a flood gate of thoughts to write. Sometimes my mind just seems so full of thoughts I can hardly focus on any one thing. And then I end up rambling and jumping from topic to topic. Anyone else have this problem? I'm not sure there's an exact topic for today and perhaps two days in a row is a bit much but I'm hoping we'll get it all out tonight.
First off I have a few questions.
1) Why is it that standing in front of a room of children seems like no big deal but in front of adults I panic. Before my friends wedding I had countless nights laying awake wondering what I'd say IF I had to give a speach. And then the moment came. As I walked up and took the microphone I KNEW I had to admit my fear and told everyone I was now imagining them all as middle schoolers... I got a laugh. This was a great set up because by the end I was nearly in tears and shaking immensely. If they'd been actual middle schoolers I'd have been set. I could have went in with no plan and done just fine. Am I crazy?
2) Where the heck do all the pacifiers and socks go in my house? Ok I do have a problem misplacing things BUT these items disapear never to return again... And we can't even blame the baby yet!
3) Why are women so brutal o each other? Last night I caught myself telling my husband how much I dislike Katie couric. When he asked why I had a very feeble reason. And this got me thinking... Am I too critical of other women? Am I judgemental? We must work on this...
4) Why does boo, my baby boy, stay up until 1 am no problem? And this means he sleeps until 10. Sometimes I know other moms are judging me and this schedule makes me nervous. But the more I fight it the more grouchy he is. I guess I need to ask why do I care what anyone thinks? Maybe those dreams about someone taking Boo away worsened my anxiety? Must work on this too...
5) Where did my self confidence go? Before I met my husband I hated myslef... Or at least the way I looked and a few other things... And then he sparked a self confidence and self body image I'd never had before. Even while I was pregnant I liked how I looked. But now? It's like everything just fell to the wrong place after having my son. Somedays I don't have time for makeup and hair. Or at least I don't care. And then I glimpse myself in the mirror and want to scream. I KNOW I'm not the only one. We should start a support group like AA but for us recovering low body image addicts. Any takers? *sigh* must work on this too!
Ok so that's the big questions on my mind... Meaningful? No. Insightful? Doubtful. Critical to my daily life OR anyone elses lives? Highly unlikely. But that's real life isn't it?
So tomorrow I'm meeting with my newly married friend (the determined one) and the one who will do anything for you. It'll be bitter sweet because the newly married friend will be leaving again and we may not see eachother for a LONG time! And then thursday I'll be seeing a long lost friend. How fun! I'm also looking forward to new years with my family. And I can't wait for a fun night with the hubby :)
Alright I KNOW it's nearly impossible to see how we got jumped from topic to topic but it made sense to me. And seeing as I have very few readers I'm not too concerened. Hopefully my next blog will be better thought out. For now I'm off to bed!
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Oh my beautiful friend, you're a great writer, I'm glad you started writing these, even if you are at risk for addiction. :)You have interesting thoughts, it's good for other people to be able to read them, we can learn something from them. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHmm I think I figured out which one I was!:) You have some great blogs there! This time of year always brings mixed emotions for me....Another year gone by, Im happy for the gifts and people I have been blessed with but then I also feel sad cuz maybe I didn't accomplish everthing I had planned, and scared for what the up coming year will bring??! But after reading your blogs I realize I need to stay focused on the great life I have and everyone in my life that makes it so special, and focus on the here and now, i can't change what didn't and did happen, or whats to come! To here's to living in the moment and the people that make those moments memorable! Keep up the good Blogging!:)
ReplyDeleteOh Valerie. Welcome to first-time mommyhood. I frequently wonder where all of Annie's socks and pacifiers go. When I drive in the car I make sure I have a handful up front because Annie likes to throw them then get upset because she doesn't have one. haha. Socks....I SWEAR the washing machine eats them. Point being: You will buy lots of socks and pacifiers!
ReplyDeleteAbout the schedule: every baby has their own. What works for your handsome man and you may be completely different then what works for my little lady and me. Rightfully so because they have different lifestyles. You are staying home so you have that flexibility. I work so we have to be out the door by 6 am (which is why I ENVY the fact that you get to stay home) :)
I have learned and convinced myself of a few things as a new mom:
1. There's no such thing as a stupid question for the doctor or the on-call nurse at any hour of the night.
2. EVERY baby is different and develops at their own pace. Don't let the know-it-all moms or moms with kids with the same age make you feel like you are inadequate or don't know what you're doing or that your child is not as good. You are a bright lady, you and you family will be OKAY!
3. Stock up on pacifiers.
4. Surround yourself with people that make you happy and sift the people out that drag you down... (VERY IMPORTANT)
5. Don't forget about yourself.
I hope you enjoy my comments. If they bother you, let me know. We are both first time mommies and sometimes it's nice to mingle with people in the same boat! I hope to see you in a couple weeks at Annie's party. If not, we def need to get together soon!
<3
Pegleg: I'm glad your enjoying these thanks for encouraging me to get started :)
ReplyDeleteHugger: how did you figure it out!? Haha! I'm glad we have our memories to hold on to and a bright future ahead! Thanks for being there!
Michele: keep the comments comming! I'm so glad were new moms at the same time. How fun it will be to share storries and advice! I have an amazing amount of respect for you for working and being a great mom! Your time with Annie will be so special because it will never get old. She will bring joy to your life even after the toughest days. I worry I will get burnt out and not apreciate my home time as much because I'm always here.